I knew as much about Niagara Falls as I did about Montreal. I knew there is cascading water but that was about it. Judging from the lack of action at the train station I thought this town would be in its golden years and I was expecting a few boring days of nature watching, but boy was I wrong.

Niagara Falls is composed of two major sections: Horseshoe Falls is the more spectacular of the two, the majority of which lies on the Canadian side of the border. And American Falls, which as the name suggests lies on the American side. It was first discovered by a French guy in 1604 and has been a popular tourist attraction since the 18th century. Nowadays it’s still pretty kick arse except the majority of tourists arrive by road, which is why the train station was so depressingly empty.

Niagara Falls was awesome and far exceeded my expectations. There was so much to see and do. The falls themselves were great but to be fair they were less impressive than Igazu. However, Igazu is in a national park, surrounded by trees and nature. Niagara Falls on the other hand has been popular with tourists for over 200 years. I’m sure there would have been plenty of trees and nature way back then but they have been chopped down and paved over. And in their place stands glitzy casinos, roller coasters, bars and restaurants. It’s so unashamedly commercial. It’s so American! (I know we were in Canada – same same but different). It’s like Igazu crossed with Disney Land, and it’s great.

Everything was so accessible and convenient. Sure some of the attractions were a bit gimmicky and it’s a shame that it’s all surrounded by concrete and glass but have I mentioned the casinos?

According to Wikipedia, Montreal is the second largest city in Canada and the second largest French-speaking city in the world after Paris. If only I had done my research earlier, because I knew very little of Montreal before setting foot on our bus.

The Trailways bus cost $84 and took 10 hours to get from New York to Montreal. 10 hours would have been an eternity on a South America coach but thanks to the free wifi onboard it wasn’t that bad. It gave me time to catch up with friends on facebook, check emails, I even downloaded a George Michael album – AMAZING.

Despite my lack of initial research I was pleasantly surprised by what Montreal had to offer. The city was charming and felt more like somewhere in Europe than North America. Everyone got around on bikes, there were cute little cafés everywhere and the food and wine were quality and cheap. The city was in stark contrast and a really nice break from the hustle and bustle of New York.

The good folks from Wikipedia also told me the city of Montreal was named after its biggest natural landmark, Mount Royal. Mount Royal and its surrounding parkland was beautiful, and apparently it was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted, who also designed New York’s Central Park. On our second day we hired bicycles and rode up its three famous peaks. The ride was really fun and the view from Chalet du Mont Royal was incredible.

There was a large gutter running down the side of the slops near the summit. Upon seeing this challenging obstacle Dennis’ competitive spirit got the better of him. He bet Sam and I $5 that he could jump over the gutter on his bike and land safely on the other side. At around 30 cm wide, the gutter was not huge, but the bikes we were riding were rusty ancient racing vehicles so I figured there was a good chance of him falling, a chance worth paying $2.50 for.

After a few moments of psyching himself up Dennis finally committed to the jump. He made it alright, but his back rim hit the edge of the gutter hard and the force of the impact popped the tyre instantly. Ahhh how we laughed. It was the best entertainment we’ve had for ages. For $2.50 each, Sam and I had the pleasure of watching Dennis almost stacking it and then have him push his deflated bike all the way down the hill while we rode beside him, snickering all the way.

Attractions

Empire State Building – In my opinion a trip to NY is not complete without the mandatory visit to the Empire State Building. We went up on a sunny day and fortunately the weather was great. The ticket cost $20 and the audio-guide was an additional $8. The audio-guide was really good and well worth the money but don’t be afraid to haggle if you’re on a tight budget. Dennis and Sam did and they got it down to $4 each.

Statue of Liberty – Another NY must see. There is a daily limit on the number of ferry tickets to Ellis Island and Statue of Liberty so book early to avoid disappointment. We weren’t too fussed so we took a ride on the Staten Island Ferry instead. It’s free and goes every half an hour. There was not a lot to do on Staten Island so we just took some photos and then caught the very next ferry back. It’s arguably the best free service in NY and we got great photos of the Manhattan skyline and Ms Liberty herself.

Central Park – Central Park is HUGE. It’s amazing that a park of this size exists in a city where space commands such a premium. Rx and I are both into jogging, so for fun, we did a lap around the Reservoir (around 2.5 kms). Apparently quite a few movies feature a Reservoir jog scene including Sex and the City. So do it for a healthy break or to brag about it to family and friends back home.

Shopping

Dean and Deluca – If you’re into food, cooking and likes to shop at David Jones Foodhall then you have to check out Dean and Deluca. They sell everything food related and their quality and range is mind-blowing. When we were there I actually spent over five minutes just staring at their meat counter and salivating over their $100 per kilo wagyu. Also, go there for the best chai latte and homemade lemonade ever and make sure you check out the Prada Store across the road.

Century 21 – THE place to go if you want cheap designer gear. Their slogan is: Fashion worth fighting for. And trust me, don’t bother going if you’re too shy to throw some elbows. The place was jam-packed all the time but the discounts were so unbelievable it was definitely worth the bruises.

Abercrombie and Fitch – This 5th Ave store is hilarious. The day we went, there was a topless male model manning the front entrance. We dubbed him Ab Guy because he had the most ripped body I have ever seen. He was like the sun, I had to squint to look at him. Inside, the store was like a nightclub. With loud music, dancers and staff whose job was to walk around and spray perfume into the air. Oh, and they sell pretty good clothes there too.

Hotels

We stayed in a hotel near Union Square called Hotel 17. To be honest it was pricey for what it was. The rooms were really small and most of them had shared bathrooms so the hallways smelt like pee. The service wasn’t great either. The guy in reception had an attitude and a high pitched voice that made him sound like Nanny Fran. Nevertheless, the location was very handy and so it was okay for what it was.

Restaurants

Ino – A tiny cafe on Bedford street in SoHo. But OH MY GOD, they had the best bruschettas I have ever tasted. A sample plate of four only cost $10. Try the Asparagus and Truffle oil, it was orgasmic.

Spice Market – This place kills Longrain or any other Asian-fusion restaurants in Sydney. It is seriously the best Asian restaurant I have ever been to. We had the most amazing cocktails, the best bottle of Alsace Riesling and the yummiest fried rice. The service was great and the decor was dark and moody (a bit like The Victoria Room in Kings Cross). And it was very reasonably priced. I highly recommend it.

Gramercy Tavern – If you want to celebrate a special occasion then Gramercy Tavern is definitely the place to go. Rx and I had our 11th months anniversary while we were in NY. It’s not exactly a round number but it was a significant milestone nonetheless. We thought it’d be a bit cheeky to tell them we were only celebrating a 11 months union so we rounded it up to a year and received free Champagne, desserts and special attention from the wait staff. It wasn’t cheap though, the three course set menu cost $86. So be prepared to folk out over $300 for dinner for two with a nice bottle of wine and tip. The restaurant has a business casual dress code so I had to buy a new outfit just to dine there. Even though our dinner was the most I have ever paid on a meal it was also the most amazing meal I’ve ever had. A fitting way to celebrate such a momentous occasion and a fitting finale to our New York Times.

There were so many other amazing bars, eateries, sights and attractions. Too many to jot down in a single blog post. However, if anyone wants advice or just chew fat and share notes I’ll be more than happy to talk to you about my second favourite city. Just hola at me.

However, after having spent two weeks there, I’m proud to announce I’m sceptical no more. Let me introduce myself: “Hi, my name is Bill and I love NY.” You don’t understand, I’m actually in love with this city. And I’m not talking about love as in the way I love peanut butter on toast for breakfast. I’m talking about love as in the way a 15-year-old me used to love Kelly from 90210. It’s more than a crush, it’s an unhealthy infatuation.

Those who think Paris is the most romantic city in the world probably haven’t been to New York, they probably haven’t been to Paris either. The skyscrapers, the shopping, the restaurants, the bars, Central Park, Magnolia Bakery… It’s just AMAZING! The city was the perfect setting for catching up with some old friends, for meeting new friends and for re-connecting with a girlfriend who I haven’t seen in three months.

New York is the perfect date city, there is just so much to see and do. And if you love food and wine like Rx and I then this place is like heaven on earth. We had eight amazing nights there, each filled with fun, excitement, laughter and romance. Our days were spent sightseeing and shopping (a lot of shopping) and our evenings were devoted to fine dining, wine bar hopping followed by… more wine bar hopping. We had the time of our lives. Each day we woke up, in a city that never sleeps. And we felt like we were king of hill, head of the list, cream of the crop, at top of the heap. New York New York.

It was really hard to leave New York. Two weeks were enough to cross everything off our to-do list but like any holiday romance the final goodbye was gloomy, teary and very hard to let go. And now… even though I only left New York less than a week ago my time there already feels like a distant memory. Like an experience from another life time or a beautiful dream that I’m not even sure I had. I miss her terribly. Her charm, her exuberance, her sweet perfume and her intoxicating smile. Till me meet again. I ♥ NY.

New York – Concrete Jungle, Big Apple, The City That Never Sleeps… Or perhaps just A Really Great Place To Meet Up With A Boyfriend Who Has Been Away A Long Time.

In early January it was decided that, if at all possible, I should fly over and meet Bill for a couple of ‘date nights’ to break up the length of separation during his six months overseas adventure. As we checked schedules and timing, it looked increasingly likely that our date destination was to be one of the most exciting cities in the world – New York. For those who have been, these two words may conjure up memories of bright lights, towering skyscrapers, funky neighborhoods and great restaurants and shopping. For those yet to experience this magic, just hearing the name New York may be enough to make you want to start planning a trip. Tomorrow. Yes, it’s that good.

For me, I loved this city, having been there many years ago for a quick stopover. How exciting that I was to meet Bill in one of my all time favorite destinations! And to be honest, I was more than a little thankful that fate had thrown me the NY card rather than landing me on the Inca Trail!

By mid January, the ticket was booked and the planning and the countdown had begun. Where to stay? What to do? Where to eat? And of course, the bigger question – how will things be after not seeing each other for so long? Communication today provides us with a sense of connection, but for a relationship to function well, Skype, Facebook and emails can only get you so far. So after some extensive research, collecting travel tips from friends (thanks Joe for the valuable info!), we had put together a rough itinerary.

For me the only musts while there were a trip to the top of the Empire State Building and a run in Central Park. Apart from that, I was happy just to wander, do a bit of shopping – oh, and catch up on our last three and half months worth of dates. Which I’m proud to say, we ended up doing well. Especially the dinner and wine bar part! For Bill, shopping was high on the list of things to do. Yes, he may have been living off $1 hamburgers up until then, but this apparently enabled him to put a little away for the great bargains NY has to offer.

My time in New York was not long – eight days to re-discover this incredible city and to experience several things I had not previously done or seen – Brooklyn Bridge, DUMBO, a trip on the Staten Island Ferry, Century 21 to name a few of these gems. Eight days however was long enough for the two of us to do pretty much everything we wanted, to go on some incredible dates, and perhaps most importantly to answer the question we had been asking ourselves for a while (see above). The answer? Amazing!

Arriving back Sunday, I am now in withdrawal mode. What seemed like so long away when it was arranged, has now passed. Fortunately though, with a lot of romantic dinners, great memories – and some pretty swanky shoes – to see us through until July.

Rx

Here in Washington DC, to save money, we decided to stay in a cheap motor inn outside the city centre. However none of us realised just how outside we’ll be. Our hotel is so far out we’re actually not even in DC, we’re in the STATE of Marylands. It’s like visiting Canberra and staying in a hotel in Goulburn. And let me tell you, it’s quite a journey to get to the city centre. The trip takes over an hour and half and involves catching a bus (which comes once every hour) then two subways. It’s a bit of an inconvenience but that’s the price for not watching our spending in South America.

It may be a pain in the arse to get to the museums, memorials and monuments but once you’re there it’s well worth it. The National Mall is such a beautiful space; the Smithsonian Institute is great; the phallic Washington Memorial is awe inspiring; US Captiol is splendidly grand and the White House is… a big white house with snipers on top. It’s great here, so much culture so much history and all free!

As most of you know, we started our round-the-world holiday in South America. And instead of wisely taking advantage of the cheap food, travel and accommodation in abundance there to build a financial buffer for costlier places, I decided to splurge on luxuries such as taxis, private rooms, restaurant dinners and big nights out. As a result I grew accustomed to these luxuries, blew my budget and now my bank balance and I are feeling the pain.

When I was planning for this trip I figured accommodation would cost around $30 a night and $50 a day spending money should be plenty to get by on. So I made a budget on the assumption I would spend $80 a day and all would be well. Sure $80 might be a bit tight for places in Europe but it should be plenty for South America. Well it would have been plenty for South America if I didn’t blow a load of of cash on non-necessities like 1st class travel, expensive steaks and wine. After a recent review of my South American spending I was shocked to realise that on average I was spending $95 a day. So instead of building a surplus I’m actually in deficit.

OK, let me help you with the math. I was in South America for exactly 86 days and on average I was spending $15 a day more than I should, so my deficit for the cheapest leg of my trip is exactly $1,290. This is a pretty depressing thought especially as I’m likely to spend even more in places like New York and London. So what measures did I immediately undertake to help my situation?? Well, I bought myself some take-away beer (the brand on sale of course), got drunk, felt really sorry for myself and slept on it.

The very next day I dragged my sorry arse out of bed and went to work on strategies to minimise my cost of living. First to go were big boozy nights out. Also on the cull list was eating in expensive restaurants and taking taxis. Fortunately for us, in the States, the local transportation system is relatively cheap and easy to figure out.

Also, there is an abundance of cheap meals around. Fast food chains like Burger King offer $1 meals which include tasty treats like junior whopper burgers and garden salads for only a dollar. Trust me, I’ve had more than a few recently. However while they’re tasty and cheap there is unfortunately only so much grease I can handle. Other alternatives include buffet restaurants such as Sizzlers, Cici’s and China Buffet. They’re great because they’re all you can eat (who doesn’t love a good eating contest?) and they offer more than just buns, pickles and patties. So what I have been doing is eating a huge, free breakfast at our hostel and then a massive all you can eat dinner with little in between– pretty smart huh? Sure I may not be ticking off all the essential food groups but at least I’m getting my spending down.

Nestled between the city of Kissimee and Disney World Orlando and covering an area of just under 30 square kilometres, Celebration is a sizable place. Like all other Disney creations, it follows the Disney brand to the letter and is a true legacy of Walt Disney’s vision of an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow or EPCOT (one of the four theme parks). Does this sound scary to anyone else?

In planning for Celebration, the Disney people conducted a massive amount of social research before settling on the design they believed would best capture the American ideal of community. The houses are constructed in an early 20th century architectural style and all have old fashioned exteriors; the homes are purposely built close to the road so neighbours are more likely to interact; and there is even a congenial old-fashioned downtown area beside a tranquil lake. Apparently new neighbours are greeted with home-baked brownies and each home is fully hooked up to all the others by an elaborate intercom system. I don’t know for sure but I reckon the homes in Wako Texas were designed on similar principles.

There is no arguing the fact that Celebration is picture perfect. The houses are beautiful, the gardens are perfectly manicured and there is no crime or annoyances like pollution, heavy traffic or homeless people. However living in this Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow comes with its price. There are some stringent rules in place in Celebration: such as the insistence that all window treatments facing the outside must be white; public parks are closed after 6pm (so under-aged drinking will have to take place elsewhere); and all litter bugs are chained to a chair and forced to watch The Lion King over and over again.

It was truly surreal seeing Celebration in real life. Yes, everything is beautiful but it’s also contrived and sterile. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was kinda hoping I would see a temple worshipping L.Ron Hubbard or something. It’s a great idea but at the end of the day Celebration is no place for me. I like to go to parks after dark, I like the option of having brown windows opposed to white and I prefer my home to be girt by sea. I guess what I’m trying to say is: “no matter how far or how wide I roam I still call Australia home.”

Opened in 1971, Disney World goes way beyond Walt Disney’s original theme park – Disneyland, which opened in LA in 1955. Delivering escapism at it’s most technologically advanced and psychologically brilliant, shrouded in a multitude of ingenious guises across an area 60 times bigger than Sydney’s Centennial Park. It’s touted as a crime free environment where wholesome all-American values hold sway and the concept of good clean fun finds its ultimate expression.

Covering an area of over 10,000 hectares. Disney World is huge and it’s four main theme parks are more like small towns.

Magic Kingdom is the Disney park everyone imagines. With the signature Cinderella Castle towering above it all, where Mickey and Minnie mingle with the crowds and where the emphasis is on fantasy and fun. It is very much the park for young kids.

EPCOT is Disney’s attempted celebration of science and technology, coupled with a Disneyfied trip around various countries and cultures. I’m certain the reason George W Bush and millions of other American adults never owned a passport is because they’d already seen countries like Norway, China or Morocco in EPCOT. Why bother with the discomfort of long haul flights and learning a language other than American when you have it all right here in Florida?

Of all the parks, Disney-MGM Studios is the one most suited for everyone. It’s Disney’s answer to Universal Studios and its special effects are supposed to be enjoyable even if you’ve never seen the movies they’re derived from.

The more relaxed Disney’s Animal Kingdom is basically a new age zoo. Apparently it is quite remarkable in recreating Africa and Asia in the swamplands of Central Florida.

In typical backpacking style, we severely underestimated the cost and time it would take to fully appreciate Walt Disney’s vision. We were told doing any kind of justice to all four parks will take at least five days (one should be set aside for rest). Furthermore, there is the shocking cost to deal with. A single day pass to any one of the four parks costs $84 for an adult and $74 for a child. Parents with teenagers won’t save a cent either because Disney’s ticketing department considers your 10-year-old angel a full-grown adult.

If like us, you also lack the funds, there is fortunately a plethora of other fly-by-night tourist attractions for you to experience. From Universal Studios to SeaWorld to Cirque du Soleil to Kennedy Space Centre to Ripley’s Believe it or Not and many, many more. This place really is the most finely realised concept in escapist entertainment anywhere on earth. Amazing.