When I first heard that the Walt Disney Company had created the mother of all brand extensions, I was intrigued to say the least. They had planned, designed and built their own society. So when we arrived in Orlando, right on the top of my to-see-list was the town of Celebration.

Nestled between the city of Kissimee and Disney World Orlando and covering an area of just under 30 square kilometres, Celebration is a sizable place. Like all other Disney creations, it follows the Disney brand to the letter and is a true legacy of Walt Disney’s vision of an Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow or EPCOT (one of the four theme parks). Does this sound scary to anyone else?

In planning for Celebration, the Disney people conducted a massive amount of social research before settling on the design they believed would best capture the American ideal of community. The houses are constructed in an early 20th century architectural style and all have old fashioned exteriors; the homes are purposely built close to the road so neighbours are more likely to interact; and there is even a congenial old-fashioned downtown area beside a tranquil lake. Apparently new neighbours are greeted with home-baked brownies and each home is fully hooked up to all the others by an elaborate intercom system. I don’t know for sure but I reckon the homes in Wako Texas were designed on similar principles.

There is no arguing the fact that Celebration is picture perfect. The houses are beautiful, the gardens are perfectly manicured and there is no crime or annoyances like pollution, heavy traffic or homeless people. However living in this Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow comes with its price. There are some stringent rules in place in Celebration: such as the insistence that all window treatments facing the outside must be white; public parks are closed after 6pm (so under-aged drinking will have to take place elsewhere); and all litter bugs are chained to a chair and forced to watch The Lion King over and over again.

It was truly surreal seeing Celebration in real life. Yes, everything is beautiful but it’s also contrived and sterile. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was kinda hoping I would see a temple worshipping L.Ron Hubbard or something. It’s a great idea but at the end of the day Celebration is no place for me. I like to go to parks after dark, I like the option of having brown windows opposed to white and I prefer my home to be girt by sea. I guess what I’m trying to say is: “no matter how far or how wide I roam I still call Australia home.”

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